A Father’s Day Message
by
Tammy Vaughn
You think you could have done better? So do a majority of us – in fact, 53% of us believe we were worse parents than our own mother and father.
Eleven million children have completely absent fathers – and 2/3rds of those absent fathers do not provide any financial support for their children. If you provided your children with an abundance of choices to address their basic human needs, held a job (or two) to pay for a nice home, nice clothes, toys, bikes, phones, private lessons, and a college education – you are a good father.
Over 5 million children a year are abused – if your children did not make the list, you are a good father.
Only 3% of fathers have ever read to their children – if you find yourself in this rare category, you are a good father.
If you stayed in a forlorn marriage, on behalf of the children, you are a good father.
MRIs and brain research have proven that men are not wired to be emotionally articulate – if you have expressed your feelings to your children and are not ashamed to tell them you love them, you are a good father.
Today is a day to be thankful for what you were able to provide for your children. Be thankful that you had a good career that provided a nice home and nice things. Be thankful that your career allowed you to take in a ball game or a concert now and then. Be thankful that your children didn’t have to carry the financial burden of their college education to work with them. Be thankful that you cared enough about your children to put thought into the opportunities and experiences that you wanted them to have, and that you did what you could to make it happen for them. A significant number of children living in the U.S. today do not have fathers that can be thankful for these things, and in fact, some of their stories are quite sad.
A good father continues to hand out even when they, themselves, need a hand up. Children will get mad anyway. They get mad for Dad for meddling in their lives, criticize him for how he chooses to live his, forget the good times, and dwell on the bad times – and forget that all families endure struggles. It is part of life, and if we’re fortunate enough to “get over it” then we’re fortunate enough.
Fathers, like most humans, are not perfect. Why we hold our fathers to different (and higher) standards than our mothers, or ourselves, is anyone’s guess. But, even through their imperfections we find life lessons in love and acceptance that should permeate our adult lives. In the big scheme of life and considering the real perils that many families suffer, most fatherly mistakes are minuscule. You make progress, not perfection, every day – as we all should. I’m honored to have you in my life. Happy Father’s Day to an awesome man and father! Carry with you today the words of your first born, “You did good, Daddy!”
You think you could have done better? So do a majority of us – in fact, 53% of us believe we were worse parents than our own mother and father.
Eleven million children have completely absent fathers – and 2/3rds of those absent fathers do not provide any financial support for their children. If you provided your children with an abundance of choices to address their basic human needs, held a job (or two) to pay for a nice home, nice clothes, toys, bikes, phones, private lessons, and a college education – you are a good father.
Over 5 million children a year are abused – if your children did not make the list, you are a good father.
Only 3% of fathers have ever read to their children – if you find yourself in this rare category, you are a good father.
If you stayed in a forlorn marriage, on behalf of the children, you are a good father.
MRIs and brain research have proven that men are not wired to be emotionally articulate – if you have expressed your feelings to your children and are not ashamed to tell them you love them, you are a good father.
Today is a day to be thankful for what you were able to provide for your children. Be thankful that you had a good career that provided a nice home and nice things. Be thankful that your career allowed you to take in a ball game or a concert now and then. Be thankful that your children didn’t have to carry the financial burden of their college education to work with them. Be thankful that you cared enough about your children to put thought into the opportunities and experiences that you wanted them to have, and that you did what you could to make it happen for them. A significant number of children living in the U.S. today do not have fathers that can be thankful for these things, and in fact, some of their stories are quite sad.
A good father continues to hand out even when they, themselves, need a hand up. Children will get mad anyway. They get mad for Dad for meddling in their lives, criticize him for how he chooses to live his, forget the good times, and dwell on the bad times – and forget that all families endure struggles. It is part of life, and if we’re fortunate enough to “get over it” then we’re fortunate enough.
Fathers, like most humans, are not perfect. Why we hold our fathers to different (and higher) standards than our mothers, or ourselves, is anyone’s guess. But, even through their imperfections we find life lessons in love and acceptance that should permeate our adult lives. In the big scheme of life and considering the real perils that many families suffer, most fatherly mistakes are minuscule. You make progress, not perfection, every day – as we all should. I’m honored to have you in my life. Happy Father’s Day to an awesome man and father! Carry with you today the words of your first born, “You did good, Daddy!”
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